If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, overstepped, or just plain over-it when it comes to daycare parent boundaries, you’re not alone. From nonstop after-hours texts to outrageous requests that make you question reality, setting limits with families can feel impossible — especially when you’re trying to keep your roster full. In this post, I’m sharing some of the wildest boundary-crossing moments I’ve faced (and heard about), the real reason these issues happen, and exactly how to fix them without losing your sanity — or a single paying family.
Let me just start by saying — if you’ve ever had a daycare parent call you during a family funeral, I see you. I’ve been you.
Over the years running my childcare business, I had my fair share of What in the world?! moments with parents. I took calls during Sunday church service. had requests to rock a child around my backyard in my arms (yes, the entire backyard) to help them fall asleep. I was even asked to have a “quick chat” with someone’s spouse about their family issues. And those are just the ones I remember without needing therapy.
And while some of these stories are so over-the-top that you have to laugh (or cry), I know I’m not the only one. I’ve heard the wildest stories from fellow providers. Like the mom who wanted her child’s sandwich crusts cut off and then weighed. Or the parent who expected their child to be the only one allowed to nap in total silence (at a daycare!). If you think I’m exaggerating, I dare you to peek at this article from TODAY. It’s equal parts comedy and cautionary tale.
The thing is — parent boundary issues are real. They’re common. And if you don’t get a grip on them early, they can slowly eat away at your patience, your schedule, and your sanity.
Let’s talk about it.
Why Are We Even Dealing With This?
Because we care. That’s the hard truth. Most providers are givers. We want to be supportive. We want to be flexible. We want to be everything for these families.
And that’s exactly how the boundaries start to slip.
Maybe it starts with a “quick” text after hours. Then it’s showing up 15 minutes early (every day). Next thing you know, you’re getting 9 p.m. texts about sippy cup brands and diaper rashes.
Sound familiar?
And here’s the thing: it’s not always the parents’ fault. Sometimes we train them to cross the line by never drawing it in the first place.
Related Reading:
- Effective Communication with Childcare Parents
- What Daycare Parents Really Need to Know
- The Little Backbone Book
4 Common Parent Boundary Issues (That Will Drain You Dry If You Let Them)
1. After-Hours Contact
This is the big one. Texts, calls, DMs — all hours of the day and night. You say you’re closed at 5:30 p.m., but you’re still answering questions at 8 p.m. It becomes the norm.
2. Drop-Off and Pick-Up Shenanigans
Parents strolling in late, or wanting to chat about the weekend, the weather, or Aunt Susan’s new puppy while you’re juggling five toddlers. Or worse — they show up early and expect one-on-one time.
3. Special Snowflake Requests
We all want to meet children’s needs. But sometimes parents expect daycare to be a custom service — like warming bottles to a certain temperature, or playing a specific Spotify playlist for naps (no ads, please).
4. Parent Over-Access
This includes showing up unannounced, expecting daily photos and updates, or wanting a full rundown every time their child coughs. You’re the provider, not a concierge.
How to Set Firm (But Friendly) Boundaries Without Losing Families
You don’t have to be mean to be clear. Here’s how to start reclaiming your time, your sanity, and your business:
Step 1: Know Your Boundaries First
Before you can set them, you’ve got to decide them. What time do you stop answering calls? What kinds of requests are you okay with? Where’s the line?
Ready to get support? Join the Rise & Thrive Club for instant access to provider resources, early releases, and community.
Step 2: Put It In Writing
This is your contract’s time to shine. Your policies should clearly outline things like:
- Business hours
- Communication guidelines
- Arrival and pick-up rules
- What you will and won’t accommodate
And yes, you can always update your policies mid-year — just communicate the changes.
Step 3: Let the Backbone Do the Talking
If the idea of having these tough conversations makes you want to hide in the toy closet, I’ve got you covered. My Little Backbone Book is packed with 18 ready-to-send notes and messages you can use today to communicate your boundaries like a boss. No overthinking. No guilt. Just plug and send.
Step 4: Practice Holding the Line
Once you set a boundary, it’s your job to keep it. That means not answering texts at night “just this once,” or making exceptions for the really nice mom. Boundaries only work when they’re consistent.
Here’s the Hard Truth: Lack of Boundaries = Burnout
Let’s talk about what happens when we don’t put boundaries in place.
You feel exhausted. Resentful. Tapped out. You start counting down the minutes of each day. You lose the joy that made you want to do this work in the first place.
And then the guilt sets in.
You’re snappy with the kids. You start to dread Monday mornings. You think about quitting — even though this was your dream.
Sound familiar?
Parent boundary issues aren’t just annoying. They are a huge contributor to provider burnout. We give and give and give — and we don’t save enough for ourselves.
But guess what? It’s fixable. Boundaries are how you protect your peace and your passion.
Will You Lose Families If You Set Boundaries?
Honestly? Maybe one.
But that one parent probably wasn’t respecting you anyway. And guess what? There’s another family — one who will respect your time and rules — ready to take that spot.
I did this for years, and I can tell you — the more confident I became about setting boundaries, the better my roster got. I attracted the right parents. Ones who saw me as a professional. Not an employee. Not a therapist. Not a vending machine.
[FREE DOWNLOAD] Here Are The 10 Must-Have Daycare Templates
Final Thoughts: You’re the Boss — So Be One
We are a strong and resilient tribe. We juggle diapers, behavior charts, parent meetings, and snack time like pros. But if we don’t protect ourselves, we won’t last.
Setting boundaries is one of the best things you can do for your daycare. It makes you a better provider, a better business owner, and a happier human.
So if you’re tired of getting 10 p.m. texts and “Can I just ask one thing?” messages at the grocery store, it’s time.
Decide your rules. Communicate them clearly. Stick to them. And don’t apologize for protecting your space.
Because you can have both — strong boundaries AND a full roster.
And you absolutely deserve both.
P.S. If you need help finding the words, grab the Little Backbone Book. It’s like having a backbone in your back pocket.
